Listening Skills

Listen to a person for 45 minutes, and blog about:
- listening tools used
- what was learned
- what was done well
- how I can improve.


I had the opportunity to talk to a friend of mine, from brazil, trough Skype. the conversation didn't actually reach the 45 minutes because he had to leave, but we made it to the 42 min. It was a very hard experience because my objective was to practice my listening skills, and therefore i had to make him speak. I guess the problem was that he is one of my best friends and he was really interested in my new life, since much has changed to my life and not much to his. I would say that in the first 30 minutes i managed to keep the focus of the conversation in his talking but in order to do that, I need to admit that i could not focus 100% in his talking since i had to keep thinking in how to ask questions that would make him keep talking. after those first 30 minutes, i could not find new topics for him to talk about. Although we kind of shared the 15 last minutes, it was when i could really listen what he was talking about. 
I believe the tools i used were basically to make good questions. it was the one factor that made the conversation to don't be 'about me'. what i learned is, that there is much to learn about being a good listener, i guess, before this experience i did not even know what is to fully listen to someone. In brazil, its kind of 'polite' to cut the other's speech and talk even before they finished their idea, it kind of shows how interested you are in the conversation... but i realize know that this is the opposite from what a good listener should do. I have much to learn. i believe that what was done well was the effort i made to completely change the way i listen to someone, and the way i could focus the conversation in the listening, not talking : talk the least to insure i could listen. to improve, i should be more patient, and don't listen to what im hearing and already think in the response. to fully listen everything one has to say can contribute much more to our learning. 

Problem: Study

Claim:
If I study hard I can get a better grade.
Grounds:
It is normal for me to learn when I study, I have done this in the past.
Warrant:
A grade is the evaluation of ones knowledge in a certain area.
Backing:
Study makes you learn, therefore know, and therefore get a better grade.
Qualifier:
You can not study every single minute you have, there are other things that are important that demand your time, such as sleep.

“No matter how good your idea is. It is worthless unless you can share it with others.”

1. Communication is a two way process. It doesn’t matters if you think you are making a great speech if the listener can’t understand it.

2. Organize thoughts in your mind before sharing them with others. You need to help the listener to understand it.

3. Facial and body gestures are very important for a better comprehension.

4. Intonation: your attitude towards the topic will probably influence the listener attitude. (exited/bored)

5.  Be sure to focus on the message you want to transmit and ‘cut the crap’. It becomes easier to understand, to remember and don’t takes too much time.

6.  If you need to change topic, make it clear: ‘ on quite another matter…’

7. Try not to interrupt the speaker but, if you really need to, be polite: ‘excuse me, may I have a word?’

8.  Make eye-to-eye contact when possible. It guarantees that people are paying attention.

Networking Opportunities

I decided to start working in the easy part of networking. Start, maintain and improve the connection with those who are already close to me. I started by trying to have a more 'intense' interaction with the guys i play soccer with. Basically, just talk to them, exchange contact info... and I am working on learning their names (i am really not good in remembering names). The same thing I am trying to do at my dorm: when at the cafeteria, sit next someone i do not know yet or just have small conversations whit the staff or just get to know people in the elevator lol. 

I did not try nothing online yet, but i am thinking about a future opportunity. I was going to try to find out something such as an research opportunity with one of the professors in civil engineering but i decided not to go for it since, i have a very occupied week, i don't believe i have any time to do something else.

In classe it has been pretty easy to network. Sometimes i even work in groups that makes it easier. But it has been hard to develop those contacts, its very easy to get to know ho is seating beside me, but i just don't know how to develop it... just in some cases when the person plays soccer. that works. but usually it just ends up being one more number in my Facebook friends list... and that is not good at all.

Action Plan

I guess that the best action plan to develop the Missing Basics is to be opened to the new situations that life regularly presents to you and keep in mind the importance of these skills because, just by being aware, one already develops them more efficiently. The point is to use this in your favor in an everyday basis.

The Missing Basics

     Just to start, i would like to change the title of the 'Missing Basics'. This, because these subjects we are discussing are not simply skills that an engineer should have but because they have a much wider importance:  they are fundamental for everyones life. Therefore i would prefer to call them 'Life Basics'. Another reason for this new name would be because those important tools are usually learned from life itself, as we interact with the community.

     To be able to ask and answer good questions, communicate, visualize, measure and decompose big problems into smaller/easier ones, are skills that one can learn just by leaving it's life. Although, it's much easier do develop them when you are being guided or tutored since your contact whit those skills become more intense. In my opinion - the 'Life Basics' only became the 'Missing Basics' for the engineering education because sometimes engineers forget the importance of becoming a complete person and only focus on learning the technical skills one needs to succeed in it's area of actuation.